parenting, wisdom, learnig and teenage issue Teacher’s Diary

Let’s allow our kids to fail too..

…. allow the child to fail at certain times. Allow the child to learn how to cope up with the failure. Make him or her understand that the dignity, confidence and decision making ability doesn’t come from theoretical studies or stories but it comes from facing real life situations.

Back in 1990s: the time when most of us were the standard “nalayak” (notorious) child of our colonies with an ever scolding or ever cribbing set of parents. Cause we would do all sort of non-prescribed things as “roaming in afternoon, playing with street dogs, climbing trees and picking mangoes from neighbouring mango 🥭 orchard without permission and running on top of under construction buildings etc etc etc”. Coming back home 🏠 late in evening just before papa’s motorcycle arrived from office…(that was a signal of play off…) nostalgic hhhhh

Our parents were although caring and sincere but were not too pampering or proactive. At least Not to the extent that they would first read and revise the whole Mathematics Course (R D Sharma 📚 ) or Science book (S. Chand 📖 et. al.,) themselves to teach. Very few parents would try to read the complete question paper📝 to understand the difficulty level (as they say today) and we the common“average lot” would call them psycho parents.

At most our mommy or papa would try to find and fund a good tuition teacher 👩‍🏫 (even going to tuition was also not very common those days. We mostly believed that tuition is required for less competent students). Usually our a parents would ask us to look and search to find a good and affordable tuition 👨🏻‍🏫 teacher while parents will meet him/her to pay fee.

So it was us who were in-charge of the situation. The schools were also kind of supportive that they would not call parents for petty reasons like bunking classes or small physical fights!!!! They would call ONLY if there is a real BIG MATTER like breaking someone’s bones or school’s property. We lived an average life with an average mind set. Most of us tested failures in between class 1 to class 12th or few will fail at college level. Failing in study is not the only failure, I am talking about. Someone would excel in sports, someone in theatre, someone in music and some in studies. But rarest would be all rounder.

Our generation was kind of use to failures and we knew that “ek din to sabko bhugtana padta hai” (everyone has to pay one day). Actually this was our conclusion of Holy Gita that do whatever you want and then one day you have to pay for all your sins. So we were kind of ready to repay…🤪

Today::::: Houses are BIG, more Luxurious and family are smaller than 1990s. We are THE king and THE queen of our house. We have built our empire (House 🏦, Car 🚘, memberships of clubs 🎑🏙) after a long time with all our struggle, as we describe it. And then we tell our “Star like Kids” that all we have done is for THE little prince or princess. (They look at us as “who asked for all this”).

Eventually with time we expect our little prince/princess to take the leading role in all fields may it be Dancing 💃 🕺 or Singing 🎤 or 🏀 🏈 Sports ⚾️ or Literary skills along with studies. To Be An ALL ROUNDER actually. This creates lot of pressure and stress on a little child.

Why we expect them to do so, because we are paying for them. All this nonsense flourish till the price or princess is a young child in a small school or community, that allows everyone to win. The young kids also feel like if they are doing something they must get first or at least somewhere in the ranks….🎲🥈🥉🥇. But then??

What happens when these young 🤴 Prince and princess 👸 meet the harsh reality of competitive world with cut-throat rankings and percentages displayed all over…. they try, try, try and …..try. But then they succumb to the stress, even when they have succeeded. Being successful is not important, because one competition will lead to another and the chain reaction goes on. They try to escape, then revolt and or surrender to the circumstances with immense complexities in their behavioural patterns. Some Choose addiction and abuse to unload the stress and to adjust to their poorer self.

If you are a parent to a young child or a pre-teenager or a teenager or a teacher…just allow the child to fail at certain times. Allow the child to learn how to cope up with the failure. Make him or her understand that the dignity, confidence and decision making ability doesn’t come from theoretical studies or stories but it comes from facing real life situations. Once they learn to cope up one failure, allow them to fail again and again till the time they lead to digest it.

Remember success stories usually starts with what went wrong, with what was the failure or what was the issue!!!! If everyone would have known everything from day one there would have been no Columbus, No Charles Darwin, No Aristotle, No Aryabhatta and No Chanakya. There would have been plain monochrome world with only one direction and we would all walk like animals of the same herd.

We all are born with a unique mind, set of skills, capacity to learn and reciprocate, interests and understanding….so why to follow the same road. Let your child take some different road, let you help design his or her own destiny rather than a competitive exam or a piece of endorsed by an institution. We are not animals who is bound to follow the same route….daily, till someone else force it to change. We are Human Being…..we are still being….evolving. We are open to explore world and learn, explore science and develop technologies, explore music and develop rhythms and most importantly Explore our own self to be Happy 😃.

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