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parenting, wisdom, learnig and teenage issue

Do whatever you want but let us be free….teenage cries

We realized as parents that our son and daughter are not us; they are different individuals with a characteristic environment which is definitely different from ours, that we might empathize with what is happening to them socially or physically or psychologically but we do understand it completely; It is there world. We can show the torch but can’t walk with them. Let them walk, learn, fall and learn again from mistakes and achieve…

Mom why are you so stubborn? Why you always behave as if you know everything! You treat us As if you are always right!!!! YOU ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT MOM” I will prove this” the young boy was shouting. Earlier, till the last few decades, these used to be the lines of mothers or fathers sometimes.

His mother embarrassed; yet not ready to surrender… “try me son, try my understanding, what’s that which you are able to understand and not me

Ohho!!!! this is the issue with you people, you always want to prove that you are smart, intelligent, capable of doing everything….even though…..hhhhh leave it!!! Mom let’s not argue here” and they left the shop (probably they were arguing on how the son should keep up his records and try to get A grades and son was trying to negotiate all this for a smartphone)

Being a shopkeeper I have been looking at such arguments occurring very commonly between youngsters and their parents, more often moms. I would think about what I use to do at such times. Thankfully our phase is passed. Our two kids (now adults of about 27-28 years) are now well placed as marketing professional and history teacher. Our daughter…she is her father’s little girl rather 👩‍🦰👩🏻‍🎓 was a 😎 cool economic graduate who post-graduated in something related to business analysis (I don’t understand these complicated degrees). Anyways, coming back to there teens, when Our son loved history but his father, felt that he is better in maths and economics. So he should chose economics as a major, with Mathematics. They use to have heated arguments (and guess What I felt at such moments……? Actually nothing but just peace in house) and NOT discussions. Open attitude of discussion was seriously missing (haaaa haaaaa 🤣…). Was it actually nothing? No in fact it was that I wanted my son to learn  science, cause I felt that way; and yet asking my husband not to judge our son’s capabilities”

This is a common scenario in houses where the children do not inherit their father’s or mother’s or family profession (rich or poor). Usually, the middle-income group where there is more uncertainty about what will we do to earn sufficient??? We rarely know how much is sufficient? or What we need to feel that this much is sufficient….We just want to reach to a point where WE FEEL that THIS MUCH IS ENOUGH. There is more certainty in the lower or the higher income group that they will either grow beautifully or collapse completely. The significantly higher and lower income groups are usually less bothered about this “just enough” phrase. Just enough to have a good family and health and therefore are more open to take risks, more open to venturing into newer things and more open to heavily argumented discussions (both ways).

Coming back to our “let’s have just enough” group of people; we feel that our kids must see a situation within this gauge ranging from our predetermined set of minimums to maximums. We want them to learn and work up themselves within the limit, We claim to know about there potential but in essence we have lesser idea of what this word potential means…..  The boy that day reminded me that the day “We realized as parents that our son and daughter are not us; they are different individuals with a characteristic environment which is definitely different from ours, that we might empathize with what is happening to them socially or physically or psychologically but we do understand it completely; It is there world. We can show the torch but can’t walk with them. Let them walk, learn, fall and learn again from mistakes and achieve….they will have their ups and downs, highs and lows, we will be there silently waiting for them but not poking them every moment. It was easier since then…..when we thought “let them be free but let us be there with them….without interfering in their thoughts but encouraging them unconditionally. Let them bloom on their own, like wild flowers.

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